Computer problems Part 2

So what's wrong with my computer? It needs a new video card, a new sound card, and a host of other expensive spa treatments. It's getting pretty irritating to use it. I can say that because it can't hear me because, as I said, there is essentially no sound card. I was supposed to be spending my time and money "fixin' 'er up", but what did I do instead?
I got a new cell phone. It's not as frivolous as it sounds. My cell phone was 5 or 6 years old with many problems of its own. Besides, the pink Razor was on sale! Yes, I was taken in by it's girly, made-for-me packaging. I am proud to say, however, that I did my research first and found the razor is actually quite the piece of crap. To put it very mildly. I went to the Verizon store to buy it anyway, because, hello! It's pink! I came home, instead with the V phone! It's like a PDA/digital camera/I-pod/Tetris-playing/battery-draining, dream boat phone. The minute I saw it, the theme song from the Transformers played in my head, and I was once again, in love. No pink phone on earth could have stopped me. Unless, of course they had made a pink V phone. My old phone was so, well...old, its only capabilities were ringing and dialing out. But now, I have text messaging! I feel like a teenager, discovering the impersonal wonder of e-mail all over again. Now, I can actually talk to people with out having to talk to them. Genius. And it's so easy because of my new lover's teenie-weenie keyboard... romantic.
So, my computer and I will just have to learn to live with eachother's flaws a bit longer. Until a giant sack of money falls out of the sky post-marked: For new computer use only!
Did anyone else see that stupid David Blaine stunt? I'm ashamed to admit that I actually watched some of it. All I could think to myself was "Why? Why?" Did someone pay him 4 billion euro to do this thing? Because I'm pretty sure that's what it would take to get me to try it. In case you live in your own tank and don't know what I'm talking about, here's a brief description. This "magician/world-class athlete" spent a week underwater (with a breathing apparatus) in a giant snow globe and then at the end of it, attempted to hold his breath for 9 min. I think he only made it to 7 min and some odd seconds. People just aren't meant to be in water, with the exception of long baths in the company of good books and expensive beer. I've been saying this for years. Maybe I feel this way because I can't swim, or because my best friend, Penny was mercilessly attacked by a grumpy jellyfish in Florida when we were 15, or maybe it's because I've seen too many episodes of Shark Attack.
My last text message of the evening read: World class athlete? World class dufus.